The Wandering Mind

July 31, 2019

Here’s a vulnerable share: I have anxiety and OCD. For some, that might be a confession you can relate to, while others may not know what this means. In short, my mind tends to perseverate on a thought or worry until it can be all consuming. It started when I was six.

So how does this relate to reading?

When I fell deeply and passionately in love with reading and books, I also discovered a new tool for combating my mind. When it began to wander, most often at night time when I was less occupied, I discovered that picking up a book, one that captured my anxious brain and took it to another world, was soothing.

I remember one particular evening; I was in 5th grade (same as my previous post!), and I crept out to the living area to tell my mother that I was anxious, couldn’t sleep, afraid I was sick (a common worry for those of us with OCD). She suggested that I read.

I stayed up for a couple of hours reading The Wanderer by Sharon Creech. If you haven’t read it, I strongly suggest you take a look at this wonderful treasure of a novel by clicking the link above. (I also remember adoring Chasing Redbird and Ruby Holler).

I had to fill in a reading log at the time for my teacher, and I believe I read over 100 pages that evening, and it brought my total up to 500 pages for that week. I remember looking at that number and thinking that at least I was productive with my anxious time.

Over the years, reading has become a comfort in times of distress, especially if I have a book that immediately captures my attention, pulling me away from the grasp of whatever was trying to control the energy of my brain. After I read for a bit, I find that it is enough to reset.

While I realize that reading is soothing for me, I also am well aware, especially as a teacher, that a book can actually create anxiety for some. Eyes can be rolled when one is told to read instead of playing on their Chromebook or minds can wander when reading something that isn’t stimulating. I’ve had many students who have told me that they just can’t focus when they read.

To be honest, when I have found myself binge watching a Netflix show or scrolling through my Instagram feed instead of reading for myriads of nights in a row, I have trouble concentrating when reading. My mind drifts, and I realize that I read a page, or even pages, without actually comprehending what is going on. I’m very forward with my students and tell them that I suffer from the case of the wandering mind just like them. However, it’s important to exercise that part of my brain, just like one would work a bit harder to come back from time away from a sport, and I do that by forcing my mind back to the page, to the word, to the story.

After awhile, the mind clicks back in, and it no longer wanders. I know this is sometimes hard for my hesitant readers to understand, but it is my hope that the books I read and review on this site help their wandering minds… to lead them to a place where reading can become soothing or at least enjoyable for them.

Thanks for reading.